I've made it through the day. Just about. Growing up it'd be my brother or me that wasn't around for my dad's birthday. Or my mum's for that matter. But they were always together. One more battle has been fought today. Many more will come. Small and large. Yesterday many battles were fought too. First fika outside, without my mum. Premiere at the golf club, without my mum. Getting the garden spring ready, without my mum. And then today. My dad's birthday, without my mum. It's been an incredibly difficult day where I've thought of her almost constantly. I've walked around at work with tears in my eyes almost all day. And I've cried my heart out at home. I miss her so so much. Those words don't make my feelings justice. Every time I think the words "she is dead" I get the wind knocked out of me yet again. It's still such a shock to hear those words in my head. She's not dead. She'll be home soon.
Oh I wish that was true..... Because life like this isn't much fun.
I'm dreading my own birthday in four short weeks. Can we just skip it?
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