Face on

On days like today it is difficult to pretend everything is fine. When you see your mum struggling with every movement she has to make When she's cuddled up in blankets and still shivering because she's so cold. When she can barely keep her eyes open because the medication and the disease are making her so tired.

On days like these it hurts to watch her. It's hard to be around her. But that's when you know that you have to be. Because no way is she going through this alone. No matter how painful it is to watch. And no matter how much you want to just run away and hide somewhere far far away.

We're in this nightmare together. And I am so so scared. But I will not turn away.

Why am I doing this?

I really should stop reading what you write.

It only brings pain and bad memories.

And fyi, I didn't dump you. You turned your back on me.

Which pushed me over the edge once and for all.

Just to let you know.

Wounds

It still hurts.
It shouldn't,
but it does.

I repeat the same words over and over again,
but my brain isn't listening.
It is busy healing old wounds,
while you make new ones.

Atleast I seem to have found a good rhythm,
My old wounds seem to be healing at the same pace as the new ones are created.
Keeping the balance.
Because who would want to be completely healed?

Blood

Stop the bleeding, I cannot take it anymore.
The open wounds never heal, that's how it always has been.
We see people rush through life, not realsing we're one of them.
They say life is short, but who really knows?

Stop the bleeding, it's all becoming too much.
People say more things without using words.
I wish I could write music, it all makes more sense with tunes.
The sky is grey, please let the sunshine in.

Stop the bleeding, the world is nearing its end.
Cars driving fast, with selfish people filling the roads.
We don't look at each other, out of fear of what we might see.
The virtual world is more interesting, when it's not our emotions at stake.

Stop the bleeding, it's too painful.

It's just a crush

The words still echo in my mind.
It's just a crush.
They went straight to my heart.
Apparently it wasn't important.
It meant nothing.

The words still cut my soul.
It's just a crush.
Does it not have to start somewhere?
Just one small step, to being with.
But apprently it did not mean anything.

The words still bring out a tear.
It's just a crush.
Not worthy of recognition.
An illusion of some sort.
It still hurts.


(Pitcture from http://lovegraphics.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/barbed-wire-heart.gif)