Falling

I'm losing contact with the ground.
I can feel myself losing the grip.
I am slipping.
But how the hell is the world meant to continue? How can it? I don't get it.
I'm angry. I'm so angry I'm shaking. What the hell is this? I don't want to do this anymore.
I want to run and hide. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

FYI

I withdraw at the sight of danger,
or so I've been told.
I'm too sick of the pain,
to even allow me to go that far.

And yes,
I miss you every second of every minute of every day.
And that will never change.
Because in my heart I know that you should be here.
And I see a giant black hole where you used to be.

I move on natural instinct,
or so I've been told.
Fight or flight is my way of life.
But I'm too tired to fight,
so I flee.
In the other direction,
as fast as I possibly can.
Because I'm walking on the edge,
and have for quite a while.
And probably always will.

Just FYI.

And so it came

And so it came.
The feeling that had been chased away for so long.
The sadness and sorrow.
The longing and loneliness.
The devestation and destruction.

And so it came.
The feeling that had not been present for so long.
The need to hide.
To run.
To return.

And so it came.
The feeling that had been supressed for so long.


Lost in a world that is too big.