Questioning

I feel stupid.
Sitting here counting not days, but hours.
I'm supposed to be living the dream,
the African dream.
My dream.
International NGO work.
Instead,
I'm counting hours.

414. and 30 minutes.

I miss you

So I went to sleep, with the wish of seeing you in my dreams.
I see your smile and hear your voice.
I hide in your arms and never want to let go.
It feels safe, and comforting.

I never want to wake up.

When I'm awake all I have is your photo.
I dreamingly look at it, thinking of what could have been.
Thinking of the laughs and the journeys.
It makes me sad, we will never have that again.

I want to go back to sleep.

I turn back time in my sleeping state.
Return to a life when we weren't seperated.
We don't take it for granted, because I know I will have to wake up.
When the alarm goes off I curse my life as you disappear in front of my eyes.

Sometimes it's just not fair.