Dear friend,

I am so glad that I have you.
We went through the most terrible thing together.
The moment that has shaped me into who I am,
for better or worse.
And while I would take that moment back in a heartbeat if I could,
as I know you would too,
it has given me so many things.
Our close friendship being one of them.
And to be able to talk about it with you,
and knowing that you understand.
That truly means everything.
I love you,
and I am so grateful that you are back in my life.

Memories

It's a weird thing,
this thing called life.
Constant movement while filling up your soul with memories that shape you into who you are.
Looking back can be scary,
it can be fun,
it can be comforting.
Five years ago, I was just a couple of days away from finishing my last IB exam.
Four years ago, and three years ago, I was most likely running around in McDonalds.
Two years ago, I was in the middle of exams here in Nottingham.
One year ago, I was on the adventure of a lifetime.
We were walking the streets of San Francisco,
after having been on the road for 11 days.
Out of 44 in total.
We had reached our third state,
out of 28.
Just you, me, and our little Benji.
It was a good time,
and I still find it unreal that I have driven across the United States,
28 states, in six weeks.
Unreal....
But oh what amazing memories were created during those weeks.

Taken one year ago, exactly.
The Golden Gate bridge as it is often seen, through fog and rain.

Fact

Few things are as wonderful as spending days with friends,
and you don't even have to try to be polite and talkative.
It's just there, as it always has.
And it's beautiful.

One phone call

She looked at her phone, wishing it would ring. Just once would be enough. Or just a text even. She had been good, looking back on the last few weeks. But it would be nice, if just this once, someone else would take the step. She glanced toward the phone again, trying no to look, knowing nothing had changed. But she kept hoping. Wishing. For that one phone call. And when it comes, she knows she will live off it for weeks to come. But as the time passes silently by, the hope gets smaller and smaller. And she sinks deeper and deeper.

Borrowing words from someone else

Sometimes when I sit down to write, I have this feeling that I want to send out. I know exactly what I want to write, but I just can't find the right words. This text though, which is a song by VNV Nation, puts words to so many feeling that I have. So this time, I am borrowing their words. Because there is just no better way to say it.

I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand, Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you

Being like you are
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?
But some that do, lay claim that
Divine purpose blesses them
That's not what I believe, it doesn't matter anyway
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last, I'm still not sure
What I do know is, to use the world is different
As we are to the world but, I guess you would know that.

And just as I listen to the song a phone call from afar is recieved.
A phone call that makes it all seem alright.
Yes, you mean everything.

When time passes

I think you've changed.
I know I've changed.
I'm afraid it won't be the same.
I just want to run and hide.