Relax

We celebrated with buying piles of cake and eating them at 11am. I don't think anyone of us had dared to hope. We all assumed the worst. I certainly did.

But medicine has done its wonders. And it's gone in the right direction. It isn't curable. We know that. But for now we've won a small (or massive) victory. Today we've been able to relax. Tonight we will sleep. Because we said a loud FUCK YOU to cancer today.

No explanation

You always hear the words,

It will get better.

And you nod your head,

while thinking no, it won't.

You wake up in the morning,

into the cold and the dark.

And you shake your head,

and pull the cover over you.

You go out and see friends,

you laugh and you smile.

See, I told you it'd get better!

You go home, and you shake your head,

while thinking no, it just looks like it's better.

You wake up in the morning,

and you can breathe.

You decide to fight,

you decide that they will be right.

One day, without really knowing how,

or why, or when.

You look out the window,

and you realise that yes,

it did get better.

Roller coaster

Sunday was a below average day.

Monday was a really, really difficult day.

Yesterday was above average.

Today has been good.

I wish the roller coaster would end.

But at least the highs are more regular than the lows now.

Looking back,

seeing where I'm coming from.

That's something to be grateful for.

And thank you,

to all of you who make a difference.

I'd probably be under my desk if it wasn't for you.

(Photo from the Outer Banks, North Carolina)

Like a day on the beach

Today was a good day,
it's been like the feeling you get from looking at this photo.

It wasn't a special day in any way,
it was just a very good day.

The photo was taken on Christmas Day 2009 at the Tulum ruins in Mexico.

A good day

You know when the wind stops blowing,
the soil dries up,
and the coldness goes away from your cheeks?
When the sun breaks through the clouds,
the fog disappears,
and the air you breath is clean and fresh?
When the silence in the car is relaxing,
the speed is comfortable,
and the friend next to you makes all the difference?

That is what I call a good day.










Photo was taken this September on a trip to the Swedish island of Öland with my dear best friend. Truly one of the best days this summer.

We all have them

You know those days when you just lie around doing nothing?
There's no point in lying, we all have them.
No alarm in the morning.
No plans for the day.
Except doing as little as possible.
Without feeling guilty about it.
Without justifying it to anyone.
Not even yourself.
You know which days I'm talking about.
The days when suddenly it's six o'clock in the evening,
and you're still in your pyjamas.
But it's okay,
because you never planned to leave bed today.
You're plan was to allow yourself to do nothing.
And when these days coincide with a day that has no trace of darkness,
I'm in heaven.

Sunshine

New friends in new, interesting classes.
Dinner with an old, good friend in town.
Several glasses of wine with housemate number 1.
A long, random, wonderful conversation with housmate number 1 and 2.
Laughter.
Joy.
Happiness.

On days like these
the dark clouds seem far away.