Let me go

There's a silence in my head I am trying to drench.
But it's not silent in the sense that it's quiet.
Quietness would be welcomed, it would be a relief.
Do you see the spot in my eyes?
There's this point I can't see past.
It blocks my sight,
and I am trapped.
The silence is loud, and it hurts.
I turn up the music, to hear something else for a while.
I keep telling myself it's all in my head.
And it probably is,
but that does not make it not real.
And that spot blocking my sight,
I have a feeling it's never going away.
In my head there's this voice telling me to learn how to live with it.
And I thought I had.
But who can learn to live with darkness?
Who wants to learn how to live with the horrors of night?
The silence drains me.
I don't know what to do anymore.