Enough

I need to get some of my frustration and anger out. Because I am sitting in bed, fuming. I am so so so pissed off. And I can't be pissed off. Because I need to sleep. I am getting up stupidly early tomorrow because of my stupid job starting so bloody early. And I just had an e-mail from this very stupid job, not asking, but informing me in passing, that my shift on Saturday has been moved. I have plans on Saturday evening. But do they care? No. Of course they don't. They don't even bother telling me when the change happens! And they say that they are happy for me to swap with others. But problem is that means one person. Because it's only two of us in on Saturday. And if I swap with someone who isn't working I'd have three days off this week. And that'd mess up my salary. But are they willing to try and help me? No. They say thank you for helping them out. As if I have a choice. But I don't.

It pisses me off. It makes me so so so angry when people think they can control people's free time. When they assume we have nothing better to do than be ready to jump in and work whenever. It is disrespectful. It is condescending. It is power play. All things which I hate.

And I honsetly think that this might have been what just made it for me.
Yes. My eyes just shifted even more in the direction of the country that I call home.

It's raining, and I'm listening to Jet

Well I 
Been thinkin' 'bout the future
Too young to pretend
It's such a waste
To always look behind you
You should be looking straight ahead

Yeah
I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah
It's hard
If you had of only seen

At ten thirty-four
Flinders street station
I'm looking down the tracks
A uniform man
Asking am I pee'd off
Why would I want to be that?

Take control
And don't be afraid of me
'Cause every once in a while
I think about if ya gonna
Get yourself together
You should be happy just to be alive
And just because
You just don't feel like comin' home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive

Yeah
I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah
It's hard
If you had of only seen

Take control
And don't be afraid of me.

On my mind

Came across this on the internet. It didn't have an author written on it. But as the one thing currently taking up most space in my mind is the future, and what to do with it, this really spoke to me.

Future? 
Such an interesting concept
Ideas and plans
Already laid out in front of you
But a future…
It's more than just an idea
It's every possibility
Every chance
For something altering to occur
A future is neither bad
Nor good
A future is neutral
Caring not of its effects
Such a future comes
From a biased past
One filled with truth
With lies, with alibis
Crossed with emotions
And actions
This past turns into now
A now riddled with uncertainty
And decisions
Full of memories
And hopes, dreams
Once now turns into then
That's when things turn grey
Who knows
Which path you will choose? 
Which wine you will taste? 
Whose heart will break? 
The one thing about futures
Is that you have to live now
To ever reach them
In an instant, your future
Can disappear
Your now becomes past
And nothing follows
This future
Is only reached
By living through today
Through the memories
Of futures passed
And the choices made tomorrow
The future is far away
A concept hard to grasp
But we'll grasp the future yet
And live it to the last 

It's taken from here.

My part of London

 

Yes, we have a fox family living in our garden.

Walk with me

I'm a runner. Not in the sense that I go running. I wish I was that kind of runner. But no. I run in the larger sense of the word. Never really knowing how or when to just let myself stay. Sometimes I wish people would tell me to stay. And actually, maybe for the first time in my life someone has actually said that to me. Maybe not as frank as 'you should stay'. But still. I'm not picky.

Sometimes I want to tell people to run with me. Or at least walk with me.
I've added 'follow me' buttons. So you can walk with me online if nothing else.

Londontown

 

Favourite of the day

Multitasking at Oxford Circus

Here we go again

Yes, I am back on this one. For mainly one reason. This blog is so closely related to my emotions. It's my outlet. My space. And now that I've started to explore a new form of expression this seemed to be a good place to return to.

I bought a new baby the other day. A precious, beautiful, DSLR camera. It's the new love of my life. And I am planning to always bring it with, except maybe to work! So following this will be my first topical photo entry!

I will start writing other posts here again as well. Anything relating to me finding my way through the pen. And the escape that music gives me. And always with a camera at my side.