Happy times ahead

We haven't had electricity all day, until now.
Which has given me a lot of time to just lie in bed thinking about random things.
And I was struck by the fact that I am really looking forward going back to uni in September.
I'm excited about my classes.
I'm looking forward to going back to the gym.
I'm anxiously looking forward to being president of a society.
I'm so excited about moving into the new house with two of my closest friends.

All in all, I am so glad I am going back there. Not having to deal with the future or what to do with myself. It is nice to know, and it is nice that I am actually excited about it and looking forward to it.

I'm also excited about my family coming to Uganda to hang out with me for my last two weeks here. I cannot wait. It is now less than two weeks until they're here.

Questioning

I feel stupid.
Sitting here counting not days, but hours.
I'm supposed to be living the dream,
the African dream.
My dream.
International NGO work.
Instead,
I'm counting hours.

414. and 30 minutes.

Hate is a strong word, but sometimes the only word

Do you know what I hate? I never like it when people say they 'hate' someone. It's such a strong word, and the people you might hate, they rarely deserve you feeling anything toward them.

But I truly hate cockroaches. I have now had five in my kitchen/living room in the last hour. And I am freaking out. They're disgusting, they're fast, they're ugly, they're creepy, they're horrible. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. I wa taught as a child that everyone plays a part. You know, the bees pollenate the flowers therefore we shouldn't kill them, etc etc. But cockroaches? What purpose do they fill more than absolutely, and completely, freak me out. I have been terrified of them ever since I at the age of 11 in a hotel in Bali came across one in the bathroom sink as I was about to spit out toothpaste from my mouth. The spitting turned into screaming. I refused to sleep in that room for several nights. Now though, my parents are not here to kill them for me. Or to hold my hand. I have to do it by myself. And you know what? It sucks! Sometimes it sucks being all grown up. I don't want to do this anymore. When nights like this happen I wonder why I didn't just stay in nice, safe, bug-free northern Europe. Yes, we have bugs. But we don't have cockroaches. Or bugs that might kill you.

I truly hate cockroaches. And I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm very grateful for my 'cockroach net' as I will call it from now on.

Our thoughts go to our neighbours

Oslo, you beautiful former home town oy mine. I grew up with you as my home. With you I experienced so much over the years. It pains me to see what you are now going through. I have faith in you though. If any nation is strong enough to deal with the horrors and suffering you are now experiencing, it is you. And we are with you, every step of the way. You're our neighbour, our friend, our brother. As for me, I cannot believe the streets I walked as a child today became a war zone. It's frightening, it's shocking. I just hope all the people I once went to school with, their families and their friends, that they're all okay. I only have sporadic contact with one person from my years in Oslo. It has been 13 years after all. But even though I haven't had contact with my other childhood friends for years, my thoughs go out to them. I hope they're all okay and safe...

Dear friend,

I am so glad that I have you.
We went through the most terrible thing together.
The moment that has shaped me into who I am,
for better or worse.
And while I would take that moment back in a heartbeat if I could,
as I know you would too,
it has given me so many things.
Our close friendship being one of them.
And to be able to talk about it with you,
and knowing that you understand.
That truly means everything.
I love you,
and I am so grateful that you are back in my life.

I love you

It's not like I'm not used to being far away from everyone.
I'm used to not being in daily contact with the people I love.
But somehow it seems extreme right now.

I'm lonely.
And I miss you.
And the only person that is attempting to shorten the distance between us right now is my mum.
And that means everything.
Thank you.

Yes

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

This name is the hairshirt I wear,
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me,
be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey




Nothing like a little Barenaked Ladies in the evening.

Finding the right rhythm

To sit and sip a good cup of coffee.
To listen to the sounds of daily life.
To look out over the great lake of Africa.
To smell the mix of burned rubbish, spices and fresh fruit.
To strole past children looking wide-eyed at you.
To never feel cold.
To just be,
and feel apart of it all.

I'm starting to feel at home here.
It's an incredible feeling.

Great music never dies

We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes

Somewhere
Inside something there is a rush of
Greatness
Who knows what stands in front of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space
Silence
Tells me secretly
Everything
Everything

Manchester England England
Manchester England England
Eyes look your last
Across the Atlantic Sea
Arms take your last
embrace
And I'm a genius genius
And lips oh you the
doors of breath
I believe in God
Seal with a righteous kiss
And I believe that God believes in Claude
Seal with a righteous kiss
That's me, that's me, that's me
The rest is silence
The rest is silence
The rest is silence

Our space songs on a spider web sitar
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie

Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine

Let the sunshine in

One of my all-time favourite musicals. Worth every cent at Broadway. The movie is good enough, but can't be compared to real thing on stage. Hair. Music to the point.

Life in Uganda

I love being here, I truly do.
But sometimes it would be very nice with running water and electricity.

Travelling as I want it to be

Is it bad that I always seem to look around for new travel ideas when I'm already travelling?

I remember when I was in Ecuador in the fall of 2007. My brother was in the early stages of planning a trip of a life time, he just wasn't sure which one. We had conversation on msn and I kept telling him the same thing: "I want to go travelling aswell!" And he kept reminding me: "You're in ECUADOR! You are travelling."

And that always seems to be the case. Whenever I'm travelling the urge to travel grows even stronger. It's probably because while I'm travelling I realise how much I love it. And it might also be because when other's see me as 'away travelling' I'm really not. Not in my opinion. When I was in Ecuador, I stayed in Quito for four months. It became like home, and thus the travelling became restricted to the weekends. When I was in Mexico, I lived in Guadalajara for almost a year. While I did travel around Mexico, I went to school and lived the normal day-to-day life just like everyone else. And now, I'm in Uganda. And while I'm travelling quite a bit back and forth between the north and Kampala, I'm still working during the weeks. Not really travelling and exploring. And I shouldn't even mention England. That is as far away from travelling as is possible. It's home. It's where I live, just as much as Sweden. If not more.

I want to travel. I want to book a flight somewhere random. Pack my backpack. And just go. Not working. Not volunteering (although I recommend everyone to do that and I'd love to do it again at some point). Not studying. Just travel. Have a return flight from a place quite far away from the place I fly in to. And just make my way. Explore.

I guess that is why the roadtrip I did a year ago is so special to me. Well, one of the many reasons it is special to me. It was one of those trips that was pure travelling.

I can't wait for the day when I have the money and time to do that again.