Double life

I sit at the table and look at the people around me,
discussing the events of the day.
Mum just came home from work.
Dad is on his way to the golf course.
I had a relaxing day with a good friend.
I mention the fact I have to choose classes for next year,
I get puzzled expressions.

It is as if my life here and now is the reality.
The years spent in that other country was just a dream.
The days of laughter in the grass outside a campus building.
The long hours in the library.
The dinners at friends' houses.
Is it really the same girl that goes through that that is sitting here?

I look out my window.
And think of my double life.
The relaxed, chilled, typical Swede.
And the stressed university student who spends most of her hours in a corner of the library.

Most people lead double lifes.
One at home where they've grown up,
and one in the place they decide to make their home.
When those two places are seperated by a sea,
and when the people in one place have little knowledge of the people in the second place.
Then your life truly becomes double,
and I can't help but feel on the outside.

I love both places.
But will I ever find a place where I don't feel like a part of me is missing?