I hate that I'm starting to feel like I can't talk about my grief to people because it's now almost been five minutes. Not talking to the people close to me about it doesn't give them credit enough, nor help me. But it's just so difficult. So instead I sit on my own and fall apart.
I never knew it was possible to miss someone this much.
The sharp pain in your chest when you close to hear your mother's voice in your head and it takes a couple of seconds before you can hear it.
It might just have been seconds. But it was seconds. And I'm scared that it will turn into more seconds until I can't hear you anymore.
I want to make more memories with you. We weren't done. And that is so unfair.
And there I stood. Not quite sure what to feel. I always thought I'd feel sad. But I just felt disappointed. And angry. So angry.
The worst part is that they still haven't been able to say it to me clearly. "We can't offer you more work." Instead they hide behind big words and excuses and pretend they're still looking into it. When it's obvious between the lines that the chances are zero for that to happen.
Hypocrisy. And extremely poor leadership.
This is not how I thought my life would be. And I can't help but wonder. Should I go back?
I feel like I don't belong here. Maybe I should listen to that voice?
Confused...
I'm also right on time. Coming up on two years. I can feel the TCK gene pulling. I shouldn't be too surprised.
