Looking out the window

It's destructive,
this world we're living in.
You're supposed to do so much,
be so much.
And yet we are clueless,
not knowing what to do, or what we are.

You are bombarded with information from all corners,
there is nowhere to hide.
You're expected to be up to date,
every hour, every minute.
But you know that it is killing you,
this constant need to know everything.

It hurts,
it's like a constant reminder.

The virtual world is crap, real life is so much better.
Caye Caulker, Belize. Dec. 2009.

Of what I used to have,
of who I used to have.
Of what I used to do,
and never will do again.
Of who I used to laugh with,
but are not anymore.
It's a reminder of everything,
the good and the bad.

Right now though,
the bad seem to be winning.
So I'm taking a break from it all.
To run away from the pain,
the confusion,
the heartaches.
I'm saying good bye,
I don't know for how long.
But no,
you cannot find me on facebook.



It hurts too much.

My day

Today is the first time since 2008 that I'm home for my birthday.

By home I mean my parents house in Skövde. 

The house that has been 'home' my whole life,

regardless of if I've lived here or not.

I've lived more of life in other places than this beautiful house,

but this is where I get that feeling of 'home' when I open the door.

It's nice to get to be here today.

And to have a traditional birthday, with the grandparents,

and lots of cake.

I also got a feeling of Notts as I talked to two of my lovely friends over there around 1am.

Which was midnight over there, which meant I got some birthday wishes from over there too.

That was a great start to this 25th birthday of mine 

(now that I've reached it 25 doesn't seem that old anymore)

Now I'm going to meet up with the best person there is.

My beautiful, amazing best friend.

We're going for coffee.

Like we did last year on my birthday.

It's going to be a good day.