Stamp on the fore head

Have you ever been sitting in a public space looking at other people wondering if anyone of them are battling a depression?
If they sit there with their coffee laughing with their friends,
while feeling like the world is falling apart on the inside?
If they sit there with their sophisticated book,
not really reading the words because the darkness is too heavy?

I never feel more alone than in those moments.
When I sit there, surrounded by people,
but feeling as if everything around me is crashing head first into the ground.
I wish it showed on people,
like a stamp on the fore head.
Just so I knew,
I wouldn't come up and speak to you,
I promise, I wouldn't.
It's not like I would want everyone to know my insides either.
But sometimes it would just be nice to know that the words people always tells me are actually true.
You are not alone.

Hey little fighter

Please bring me another tequila,
I don't need a sober day just yet.
I don't wanna try to get up,
there's a dark cloud over my head.

I don't need another umbrella,
I'm already wet from head to toe.
There's no need to wear a sweater,
I'm way too deep in the cold.

Hey little fighter,
soon it will be brighter,
we're over the stormy end.
I'll find another one to make it better,
some day in the ruins we made.

You don't need a guide to help you,
I know you'll be fine when the winds calm down.
I'll be brave but being without you,
I'll have a storm in my heart.

Hey little fighter,
soon it will be brighter,
we're over the stormy end.
I'll find another one to make it better,
some day in the ruins we made.
Hey little baby,
my heart will be aching with scars from the stormy end.
I might recover as someone else's lover
and stay away from the rain.

It's all done,
the sky's getting clear.
So break away from the storm my love,
we can't take it back anymore,
we can't make it right anymore, oh no.

Hey little fighter,
soon it will be brighter,
we're over the stormy end.
I'll find another one to make it better,
some day in the ruins we made.
Hey little baby,
my heart will be aching with scars from the stormy end.
I might recover as someone else's lover
and stay away, and stay away from the rain.


Sunrise Avenue makes amazing music. They help.

Escaping

You know what the worst thing about living in a different country than your family?
Apart from all the obvious reasons?
That I can never escape.
I see people go home for the weekend,
see their families,
get away from it all if only for a couple of days.
I can never do that.
And it sucks.

Right now

I was going to write about it,
how it is right now.
How it's been good for a while,
but how it feels like my brain is catching up with me.
The evil part of my brain that is.
My life right now,
revolves around three things.
Lectures.
Essays.
Society I'm the president of.
So in a way,
I guess my life revolves around one thing.
Uni.
And it's getting to me,
I can feel it.
I want to breathe.
To relax.
But I guess I can do that when I graduate.
It's scary though,
that it's getting to me.
Not just that I'm stressed,
but that it gets into my head.
In the worst way possible.
And the solution?
Bury myself even deeper in work,
and pretend it's not happening.

Yeah, that might not be helping...

Words

Do you see the way I stare into nothing?
How the sun is falling and the stars are rising?
The flags are blowing in the wind,
wondering when the rain will fall.
The candle has run out of time,
it's taken its last breaths.
The leaves are blowing up to storm,
and they are changing colour too.
The streams run as fast as they can,
trying to avoid drowning in themselves.
The flowers have gone to warmer places,
they migrated as the air turned cold.
Roads are turned into mud,
streets become ice,
houses grow cold.
And in the mist of it all,
I stare,
into nothingness

Don't sit in silence

We have
The chance to turn the pages over
We can write what we want to write
We gotta make ends meet, before we get much older

We're all someone's daughter
We're all someone's son
How long can we look at each other
Down the barrel of a gun?

You're the voice, try and understand it
Make a noise and make it clear
Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o!
We're not gonna sit in silence
We're not gonna live with fear
Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o!

This time
We know we all stand together
With the power to be powerful
Believing, we can make it better

Oooooooh,
We're all someone's daughter
We're all someone's son
How long can we look at each other
Down the barrel of a gun?...

You're the voice, try and understand it
Make a noise and make it clear
Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o!
We're not gonna sit in silence
We're not gonna live with fear
Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o!



John Farnham's song You're the Voice seems appropriate right now.

New times

You know what's nice?
When you walk around on campus and bump into people you can stop and chat to for a while.
In other words, it's a nice feeling to make new friends.
No one can replace you, ever,
but at the same time, we move on.
Just like everyone else.

I think it will be a good year :)

Write. Speak. Share.

The pen is said to be the most powerful weapon,
And when people get imprisoned, and even murdered, because of it,
we realise that that is actually true.

Tomorrow the trial against two Swedish reports in Ethiopia starts. They are being charged on grounds of terrorism. They were investigating the current regime and also oil companies in the region. Everyone should take a look at Reporters Without Borders. Without reporters, we become victims of the powerful. Without reporters, there is no one out there fighting for the right to tell the truth, and spread it.

So write about it. Speak about it. Share it.
Thank you, to all reporters out there for doing your job. I am very grateful for it.



The picture is from the organisation PEN, a worldwide association of writers.

Yes please

Home is where the heart is,
the question is,
where is the heart?

Like a day on the beach

Today was a good day,
it's been like the feeling you get from looking at this photo.

It wasn't a special day in any way,
it was just a very good day.

The photo was taken on Christmas Day 2009 at the Tulum ruins in Mexico.

A good day

You know when the wind stops blowing,
the soil dries up,
and the coldness goes away from your cheeks?
When the sun breaks through the clouds,
the fog disappears,
and the air you breath is clean and fresh?
When the silence in the car is relaxing,
the speed is comfortable,
and the friend next to you makes all the difference?

That is what I call a good day.










Photo was taken this September on a trip to the Swedish island of Öland with my dear best friend. Truly one of the best days this summer.

Facts

Somedays life just isn't a walk in the park,
even if you do actually go for a walk in the park.
Or a drive through paradise.

The photo is taken on Isla Cozumel, Mexico. On this particular December day 2009, life actually was a walk in the park. In its truest sense. It wasn't a good day. It was a great day. I long for that day.

Walk

I went for a walk to avoid the silence in my head.
I put in my headphones and turned up the volume,
trying to scare the monsters away.

It didn't really work.
But at least I go some fresh air.

We all have them

You know those days when you just lie around doing nothing?
There's no point in lying, we all have them.
No alarm in the morning.
No plans for the day.
Except doing as little as possible.
Without feeling guilty about it.
Without justifying it to anyone.
Not even yourself.
You know which days I'm talking about.
The days when suddenly it's six o'clock in the evening,
and you're still in your pyjamas.
But it's okay,
because you never planned to leave bed today.
You're plan was to allow yourself to do nothing.
And when these days coincide with a day that has no trace of darkness,
I'm in heaven.

Sunshine

New friends in new, interesting classes.
Dinner with an old, good friend in town.
Several glasses of wine with housemate number 1.
A long, random, wonderful conversation with housmate number 1 and 2.
Laughter.
Joy.
Happiness.

On days like these
the dark clouds seem far away.

Waiting...

Waiting for someone here to say something
Waiting to show everyone what I have gotten
Waiting for the eyes to open up

Hoping everyone here will forget me

A night in a big city
A morning with snow
Someone thinks he is hated
Someone is waving farewell

One day more, then can't something be the way I want it to
One day more in a place where everything stands still

Hoping someone in here has understood
Hoping for a fire in the kings castle

I want someone to call and say hi
I want you to run of longing to me

One day more, then can't something be the way I want it to
One day more in a place where everything stands still

Searching after people whom are like me
Understand that thousand of us are born every day

I want someone to call and say hi
I want you to run of longing to me

One day more, then can't something be the way I want it do
One day more in a place where everything stands still

I have not written this. I've just translated it. It's originally a song called Väntar (waiting) by a Swedish group called Raymon & Maria, and they only sing in Swedish. But the lyrics of this song are pretty close to my own words sometimes so I thought I'd share a translated version of it.

Dealing with it

She decided to open her eyes and look out the window,
instead of just always looking inward.
She decided to take deep breaths,
instead of just gasping for air like a sinking dog.
She decided to let her shoulders drop,
instead of suffer through extreme tension.
She decided to deal with everything,
instead of pretending that everything was fine.

It lasted five whole minutes.
And then she fell back onto the bed.
Drained.
Exhausted.
Empty.

It's tiresome to get to grips with yourself.

Things change

I expect to bump into you,
I look for your face.
I take out my phone and get ready to text you.
That's when I remember that you're not here anymore.
It's not like you're GONE with capital letters,
but still.
I look for you,
and you're not here.
It's strange.
And quite sad.

Facts

There is always hope,
or so I'm being told.

The joy of travel books

I love the Lonely Planet guide books. Whenever I go somewhere for a longer time (more than a week in other words) I try and get hold of the LP so I can read up on what to do before I head off.

LP are releasing a new edition of their Australia guide in November. And I've pre-ordered it from Amazon. I cannot wait to get my hands on it and plan my Christmas trip down there!

If anyone has any suggestions of things to get up while down under, let me know!

Travelholic

I'm starting a new 'topic' or whatever you want to call it. Everyone who knows me, knows that I travel a lot. A friend of my mum's told me this summer that they sometimes play "Where is Lisa now?" at the dinner table. And it's strange. Because I never think of myself as someone who has done a lot of things. Or as someone with a lot of experience. In fact, I usually feel pretty unexperienced. But then, when people tell me how ridiculous it is that I'm only 24 and have been to 26 countries it kind of hits me. I'm a travelholic.

It's not necessarily a good thing. I've been told that it's a fear of commitment. That by travelling I don't have to create long term relationships. And I know already from the beginning that I am going to 'lose' my friends, rather than walking around waiting for them to fall off the face of the earth for no good reason what so ever.

So yeah. I travel. And move. I love it. And I hate it. Because how amazing would it not be to just be home somewhere? To have a place you feel at ease with. A place where you can see yourself living for years and years and years. Not feeling the need to have to fly away ever again...


But anyway. I'm going to start writing more about travelling. Anything that involves travelling. Because honestly, I can't live without it. For better or worse.


I took this photo of a baby albatross on Isla Española in the Galapagos Islands on the 12th of December 2007.